Self-Empowerment Tips & Tools

an e-zine for the mind, body and spirit, for men and women  

ISSN 1073-6158                                                                                                             Volume 3 Issue 4

Table of Contents

1. HAPPINESS EMPOWERMENT

I begin every issue with an article about bringing more happiness into your life. A sincere sense of ongoing joy eludes a majority of people. I want to help change that! Please read this carefully if you don’t want to waste another precious minute of life without feeling contentment and joy when you wake up each day, despite life’s snags. Don’t be one of those who wait until they’re much older and then lament how much they missed. It’s all YOUR choice. This issue I discuss how to keep your protective walls porous in order to take risks that let happiness in NOW.

Leaving the Past in the Past

I hear people often dwelling on things that happened to them in earlier years. They hold onto things that were said about them like they’d never amount to anything, poor body image memories, unhappy relationship issues, etc. Bad memories make you unhappy. Period! Part of the fallout is living with regrets about the way things went for you. Bad memories serve little good purpose. Don’t you prefer being happy? If you do, then let go of what I call memory baggage.

The past is your history. IT ONLY AFFECTS YOU TODAY IF YOU GIVE IT POWER TO! Regretting past choices keeps you from enjoying today. It’s hard to find happiness if you dwell on what went wrong in previous years. I got married at twenty and allowed myself to feel stuck. Do I regret getting married so young and letting fear of being on my own keep me there through my twenties? NO!  

Since I can’t change the past, there’s no point thinking about what ifs. I learned, I grew and I left DoorMatville with much more determination to move forward into happiness. I also think I appreciate today much more because of what I went through. So much good came from it.  

You have two choices – waste time regretting what you did or didn’t do, or acknowledge your history and put all you energy into enjoying life today. There’s nothing you can do to change history. But you can choose not to give it power over today and tomorrow. I can be unhappy thinking of all the years I could have been doing something that would have made me happier, or focus on being happy NOW. I choose NOW! You can too!

Leave your past where history belongs. The only reality it has is what you give it. When you recognize that it’s over, it’s easier to let go. What memories lower your self-image? History! If you accept that, they lose power over your present. You’re different now. Refuse to allow memories to muck up your thoughts. Research indicates that closure on past experiences improves self-image. Resolving past shticks promotes positive thinking. As you nurture your present self, there’s more power to handle the past.  

Once you CHOOSE to pursue your dreams, no one can stop you! Except YOU of course. Your own negative thoughts keep you stuck. MANY naysayers suggested I save my energy since it was too late to develop a new and passion driven career. HA HA! HA! They’re all still in ruts while I’m on a passionate path of infinite possibilities. When you strengthen your faith, and practice using it, the world can be yours! I’m living proof!  

When Emily came to me for counseling she was trying to get past being raised by a mom with no self-esteem. She said she loved her dearly but grew up with absolutely none, like her. All her memories reinforced Emily’s feeling bad about herself. Her mom is an educated, successful woman with a Master’s degree and professional career. But she doesn’t believe she personally has much value. Emily couldn’t let go of how feeling bad about herself by modeling her behavior after her mom made her feel. It took her years to completely get past her history to live in the present but she did! She says now she knows she deserves much better than that and is basing her self-image on what she does NOW. Emily is super happy living for today only.

Holding bad memories lowers self-confidence and self-worth.

Declare independence in your mind! Freedom to choose thoughts is the true foundation of self. Make decisions based on what YOU think, not on what others say. When you free your mind, possibilities are endless. I began by talking to myself so much that people who heard would have thought I was nuts. I reminded myself to leave history in the past. It can take time but you can learn to focus on the moment you’re in. I now change the subject in my head when old negative memories surface. Positive affirmations can help.

Break the habit of following "shoulds" that have been dumped on you. Start doing what feels right. "Shoulds" create hard to meet standards or make you unhappy. There’s guilt if you can’t meet them. Be a victim of the chains of yesterday or empower yourself by creating positive new thoughts. The second choice keeps me smiling!

Clean out thoughts of what doesn’t work or what you can’t do. Focus on what you can and the good stuff in your life. When you get a negative thought, replace it with something good. Or, picture the person or situation in a toilet. Flush it in your mind. It sounds silly but when I’ve been pissed at someone from the past (and anything before right now is the past!), I visualize them going down. I sometimes have to flush again later. But it works for a while, and makes me laugh thinking about it.

Clean out thoughts of what doesn’t work or what you can’t do. Focus on what you can and the good stuff in your life. When you get a negative thought, replace it with something good. Or, picture the person or situation in a toilet. Flush it in your mind. It sounds silly but when I’ve been pissed at someone from the past (and anything before right now is the past!), I visualize them going down. I sometimes have to flush again later. But it works for a while, and makes me laugh thinking about it.

All that really exists is right now. If necessary, get professional help to resolve your past. Support groups are a fantastic way to sort through it. Allow history to dictate your present or create a reality based on what you want today. It’s your call.

There will be a confidence booster in each issue. Confidence is a big key to getting what you desire. Nobody is born with good self-confidence. We all have insecurities. Some people grew up in an environment that boosted their self-esteem and nurtured confidence. More didn’t.

Break a habit. Bad habits can lower our confidence. Being untidy, late, smoking and getting scorn for it, interrupting people, etc. can make you feel out of control. Pick your easiest bad habit to control and control it for one time. If you’re always late, make an extra special effort to be on time for work on Tuesday. Clear one small spot in your home. Don’t smoke for 3 hours. As you have even a teeny victory over a bad habit, you’ll feel a teeny bit better about you. As you conquer them for longer periods of time, confidence grows. 

The Myth of Multi-Tasking
by Dave Crenshaw

I'd like to share a valuable principle with you. It's something I've taught to many business owners and executives I've worked with. This principle may go against the grain of some of your beliefs about time and the best way to get things done. Because of that, I ask you to keep an open mind. Multitasking is a myth. It just plain doesn't exist.

Does that shock you? Multitasking has become something of a heroic word in our vocabulary. Many executives pride themselves on their ability to "multitask". Recent job descriptions that I have seen even ask that potential employees have the ability to multitask. A current national commercial sings the praises of multitasking. However, multitasking, as most people understand it, is deceptively counter-productive. Multitasking is tremendously costly. Multitasking hurts us every time we attempt to engage in it.

I should clarify a few definitions. When I speak of multitasking as most people understand it, I am not referring to doing something completely mindless and mundane in the background such as exercising while listening to this CD, eating dinner and watching a show, or having the copy machine operate in the background while you answer emails. For clarity's sake, I call this "background tasking."

When most people refer to multitasking they mean simultaneously performing two or more things that require mental effort and attention. Examples would include saying we're spending time with family while were researching stocks online, attempting to listen to a CD and answering email at the same time, or pretending to listen to an employee while we are crunching the numbers. What most people refer to as multitasking, I refer to as "switchtasking." Why?

Because the truth is we really cannot do two things at the same time—we are only one person with only one brain. Neurologically speaking, it has been proven to be impossible. What we are really doing is switching back and forth between two tasks rapidly, typing here, paying attention there, checking our "crackberry" here, answering voicemail there back and forth, back and forth at a high rate. Keep this up over a long period of time, and you have deeply engrained habits that cause stress and anxiety and dropped responsibilities and a myriad of productivity & focus problems. It's little wonder so many people complain of increasingly short attention spans!

When we speak of multitasking, what we really mean is that we are switchtasking: switching rapidly between one task and another. Yet, each time we switch, no matter how quickly that switch takes place in our mind, there is a cost associated with it. It's an economic term called switching cost—and the switching cost is high.

When I shared this principle of switchtasking to a CEO of a respected national company, she was astounded. We did a budgeting exercise where we looked at how much time she was spending in a given week. In the process of budgeting her time and looking at how much time she was spending on each activity, we found that she was extremely over budget in what she thought she could accomplish in a week. The truth is, there are only 168 hours in a week, and yet she had put down that she was accomplishing 188 hours worth of work in that week! As we went through the process, we realized where the extra time was coming from. It was from the fact that she was doing research at the same time that she was spending time with her family. When we came across this, I taught her how multitasking was a myth. She was spending time either with one or the other. She was switching rapidly between the two. In reality she was rarely spending any time with her family. She was really doing business research in the presence of her family. There is happy end to this story, however.

The next day we met she burst into the room, full of excitement. She exclaimed, "I'll have you know that I spent time with my family last night and I didn't multitask! I got home and said let's go to dinner. My kids were surprised. But we went to the restaurant and I paid attention to them and I didn't think about anything else but spending time with my family. At first I don't think they took me seriously. After they realized that I was really spending time with them and paying attention to them they were excited and I could tell they really appreciated it."

This CEO had come to understand that not only was switchtasking hurting her business, but it was taking a toll on her family. Once she clearly understood the truth and received some guidance on how to take action, she committed make changes. Her business, her family, and she are all better because of it.
* Eat two to three pieces of garlic every day as a preventative measure during flu season.

May I offer the following "beginning steps" to help slow down the switchtasking in you life?

1. Take control over technology: Your cell phone ringer (even on vibrate) doesn't need to be on all the time. You can turn off email notification on your computer as well. Become master over the nagging beeps and buzzes by creating some silence.

2. Schedule what you can schedule: Set regular times in the day and week to check your voicemail and email. Let others know that you will be using that schedule so they know when to expect a reply.

3. Focus on the person: When you switchtask when dealing with a computer, you simply lose efficiency. But if you switchtask on a human being, you additionally damage a relationship. Be present, listen carefully, and make sure everything has been taken care of before moving on.
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Dave Crenshaw has appeared in TIME magazine, on XM and Sirius Radio, MSN Money, and been interviewed in radio and TV stations across North America. His book, The Myth of Multitasking: How ‘Doing It All’ Gets Nothing Done has been translated into six languages and is a time management best seller. He is the foremost expert in helping you get time, and has helped students worldwide get more time for everything they love most in life. Check him out HERE.

We can do many things to improve our health. I strongly believe in complementary medicine – using both traditional and alternative treatments. Here are some tips for keeping your eyes healthy.

Keeping Your Eyes Healthy

I was talking to my pharmacist this morning while I read some fine print. He knows my age and asked if I was wearing contacts, since the leaflet can be hard to read. When I said no, he was amazed, since he’s a lot younger and has trouble. I told him I exercise my eyes and he asked for suggestions. Reading small print all day can strain his eyes. I’ve told a lot of people how to strengthen their vision and will share some of it with you.  

Years ago, when I was a lot younger, I noticed that my vision was getting blurry. It got so bad that I was afraid to drive. Friends I mentioned it to encouraged me to go to an eye doc and get glasses. But I’m stubborn! I don’t want to wear glasses and have been determined to not need them. Not being able to see well put a crimp into my plans, but I kind of sensed that the problem was caused by allergies, not my eyes. This made me stressed, which made it worse.

I dealt with the allergies and stress and hung in until I got past it. A conscious effort to nurture my eyes and myself got my vision restored without glasses. I went to the vision therapist for a checkup and he said my eyes were as good as someone at least 10 years younger with good vision! Good nutrition, nutrients, and exercises all helped. He recommended I add Ginkgo Biloba to my morning supplements and also Lutein, since my mom had macular degeneration. My vision continued to improve, instead of going downhill as it does for most people as they get older.  

I strongly recommend doing eye exercises. They help by strengthening your peripheral vision, like you stretch and work out the muscles in your body. Most people just use the center of their eyes. If they get strained for any reason, that’s it. My side vision is stronger so the exercises allow me to use more of my eyes to see so I don’t put all the strain in the middle. These are simple and can be done in a few minutes a day. Do them when you’re on the phone if you’re sitting or even in the bathroom. The amount of repetitions depends on what feels comfortable for you. Start with less and work your way up.

* Look up and hold your eyes there for a count of 25. Then do the same thing looking down. Then quickly move them up and down for 50 or more times.

* Look to the side and hold your eyes there for a count of 25. Then do the same thing looking to the other side. Then quickly move your eyes side to side for 50 or more times.

* Do 25 circles with your eyes in one direction, and then the other.

I do these in the morning and if my eyes feel strained, I do some during the day too. Taking good care of your eyes keeps your vision as good as it can be. Makes it worth the effort!

Couples Can Cooperate for Success
By Tina Tessina

You have probably entered relationships madly in love, convinced that your feelings for each other were so strong your dream would carry you through the tough times, but wound up feeling more like you were living in a nightmare than a dream, struggling with conflicting wants and needs. If you don’t know how to work together effectively to solve the conflict, the resulting frustration, anger and battles make the relationship more and more unpleasant and difficult to sustain.

Her latest book, Black Pain: It Just Looks Like We're Not Hurting (Scribner, 2008) has touched many people in its candid look at the effect of racism on black people and her own depression from it. There’s a foreword by Mary J. Blige and testimonials from an impressive assortment of people, including Danny Glover, Sean “Diddy” Combs and Patti LaBelle. I admit it’s a tough read. Terrie speaks the truth! But as the saying goes, the truth can set you free.

As a therapist, I know that couples need to know how to solve problems together successfully, and to work together as a team rather than struggle. A major part of my life work is helping couples learn to work together to develop a partnership that supports love and intimacy. To reach people beyond my immediate area, I wrote two books on this subject: How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free (with coauthor Riley K. Smith) is a step-by-step guide to help you learn the skills of problem solving and cooperation. Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Squabbling About the Three Things That Can Destroy Your Marriage teaches couples how to solve specific problems using the skills of cooperation.

Couples without teamwork skills fight about money, sex, affection, time, infidelity, in-laws, raising children, housekeeping, or other problems, often repeating the same old arguments, without any resolution, or locked in habitual ways of relating that they think they "should" do, but that create dissatisfaction and struggle between them. Struggles like this are not inevitable.

Learning good relationship skills (communication, cooperation, knowing and saying what you want, overcoming destructive habits, breaking out of rigid patterns that don't work, counteracting unrealistic expectations, and creating new ideas) enables you to:

* Make room in the relationship for individual differences, preferences and tastes
* Recognize and solve problems to your mutual satisfaction
* Keep your individual emotional issues from creating partnership problems
* Solve both individual and relationship problems
* Identify old relationship patterns that were dysfunctional, addictive or abusive, and to develop healthy alternatives
* Discuss changes and conflicts and find ways to accommodate them
* Identify and examine the "traditional relationship" models to see what aspects of them are relevant to your partnership, and what you need to change to develop a new model of partnership that works for you.

With good communication and negotiation skills, any couple can create satisfying, loving intimacy. When you and your partner know how to cooperate, you can build a partnership in which you:”

* Give and take equally
* Are committed to mutual satisfaction
* Face problems rather than avoiding them
* Work together toward mutual satisfaction
* Feel like a team.
* Treat each other's feelings, wants and needs as important.
* Share thoughts and feelings freely.
* Encourage each other and create excitement as well as comfort and security.
* Feel comfortable, satisfied, stimulated, and thus secure in the relationship
* Have confidence that your relationship will last

There is a pervasive myth that somehow happy couples just agree on everything automatically all the time. Believing this myth, we enter relationships convinced that whatever problems or differences we have with our partners will be easy to solve. But, in reality, the individuals who make up a partnership will disagree frequently, and often struggle over even minor issues.

Relationship models based on the idea that one person must lead and the other follow, or one “win” and the other “lose” can easily become power struggles, where the partners fight bitterly. Each partner struggles to be in control, or they avoid disagreements altogether because it isn't worth the struggle. Hence they spend a lot of their time either fighting for what they want or feeling deprived.

The belief that someone has to be in charge of the relationship causes couples to compete for power rather than cooperate. Otherwise loving partners can struggle because they believe it’s the way to get their needs met. Between partners in intimate relationships competition becomes stressful, counter-productive and toxic, poisoning the relationship by turning us into adversaries, and undermining the mutual support and encouragement vital to satisfactory relationships.

Differences can be frightening, and make resolving problems and conflicts with our intimate partners tense and difficult. In a relationship intimate enough that we feel a deep bonding or sense of commingled identity, it’s easy to experience disagreements as threatening. Disagreeing seems to indicate we are separate individuals who perceive everything differently, and have different needs and wants, and we fear that we'll be rejected or disapproved of if we are different.

Sometimes relationship problems are only indirectly connected to your partnership: your car breaks down, your kids need to get to school, your boss is difficult to get along with. These issues become partnership problems because you bring their effects, big and small, home (into the relationship) with you. Anger at your unreasonable boss can quickly become a difficult evening with your partner if you bring your frustration home, are irritable, and the two of you wind up arguing unnecessarily.

While this feels unfair and inappropriate, in real life it happens frequently. Unskilled couples easily become tangled in a web of blaming, hurt and anger and, after years of similar unresolved conflicts, can build a backlog of bitterness that can't be healed.

Some problems are directly related to your relationship: you fight about housework, time, money, childcare or sex. One or both of you becomes hurt or angry. For couples who don’t know how to cooperate, such issues can escalate into a big problem or accumulate over time. When problems cause friction and never get resolved, they undermine an otherwise loving and viable partnership.

Only recently have psychologists and sociologists begun to discuss the elements of effective decision-making. Among other discoveries, they found that decision making (even in business) is more effective when everyone contributes their views of priorities, needs, wants, goals, and their thoughts about possible solutions. This cooperative approach means that both contribute their understanding to the problem (which often makes it clearer) and both feel involved in the process and committed to the success of the solution they agree upon.

In cooperative negotiation, both parties attempting to resolve a conflict or make a decision involving them can negotiate so that both get what they want. By working together, you can learn to solve the problems of the past (I'm afraid we'll fight about money like my first wife and I did); the present (I don't think I'm getting a fair share of the housework) and the future (what will we do if I lose my job?). Instead of being a struggle or something to avoid, solving such problems becomes an opportunity to re-affirm your mutual love and caring, and to strengthen your partnership and teamwork.
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Tina Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in California. She’s the author of many books, including the best selling, The 10 Smartest Decisions A Woman Can Make Before 40 Money, and her newest, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage (Adams Media, 2008). Tina also writes the "Dr. Romance" column on Yahoo! Personals and MUCH more! You can subscribe to her free newsletter: "Happiness Tips from Tina" on her site.

Saying "No" Without Saying "No"

Turning down requests and favors is important. We’re often afraid that if we say “no” people won’t like us. Saying the actual word “no” can feel uncomfortable, but there are alternative that work well. Find firm ways to turn folks down without the word ever crossing your lips. Often you need to break people of their habits of expecting you to always acquiesce by changing your response slowly. Then turning them down becomes much easier!

Little white lies can ease you into it. If it’s more comfortable at first, create excuses. Someone calls for a lift – you just washed your hair. Can you come watch her kids? You’re writing a report. Your boss needs you to work Saturday but you have to attend a wedding. Survival excuses allow you to bow out nicely. Consistent, reasonable excuses can get people out of the habit of always expecting your help. Agree occasionally.

Remember that you really don’t owe anyone elaborate excuses! Be careful about letting someone box you into a corner. When I was a DoorMat, I’d be asked if I really had to go to the doctor when they needed me. I’d actually change my appointment rather than argue! People may not take your turning them down well and challenge your excuse, pushing for more details about why you can’t. Watch how others turn you down. If you consistently say that you can’t, without too many details, people will begin to look elsewhere.

Create generic answers instead of saying “no.” Use expressions like, “I can’t do it” or “this doesn’t work for me.” Flattery can temper refusals. Say you think highly of them but you’re overextended. Tell a neighbor you enjoy talking with her but it’s not a good time to share family barbecues. Turn folks down without “no.” Create pat answers. Find your own version:

• “That doesn’t fit my schedule.”
• “Time won’t allow me to make more commitments.”
• “Filling in when you’re away is too important for my limited time.”
• “I barely have time to take a potty break with so much on my plate.”

Do you get arguments from people you turn them down? When they’re used to getting their way, the less they accept not getting their way. Look in her Day Planner and say you can’t. Period If someone challenges you, that’s rude! Don’t continue to argue. Only bullies push to get their way when you’ve turned them down. Better to avoid them when possible! That’s why I recommend that you wait and let the person know later. If you email your turn down, they can’t question you as easily! .

NEVER say, “I wish I could,” unless you want them to rearrange their schedule to grant your wish. Segue into just saying you can’t. When I began to baby step out of DoorMatville, I gave elaborate reasons and apologized. Now I firmly say, “I can’t,” which invites fewer follow-up requests. My conviction indicates, “case closed.”

Do friends try to rope you into volunteering for charity or at your kids’ school? Bow out clearly. Don’t be evasive or say you’re sorry you can’t help. That invites more requests. It’s your right to choose how to volunteer. Don’t let people with causes intimidate you. Explain other commitments take all your time—no more details—with a smile! A firm attitude reinforces it.

Do positive afirmations.” Affirmations can help you break old habits and create new, healthier ones. Adopt this as your new affirmation for living: “I leave the past in the past and focus on right now only because that is where my life is—NOW.” Focusing on right now is loving because it helps keep the past from hurting you.

 
Transform Your Environment with Sacred Spaces
By Asha Praver

We don’t create the holiness of life. We remember it. Just behind the mundane, the divine, is always hovering. How much of that divinity we experience is a matter of where we put our attention. All of spiritual practice is learning to stay focused on the deeper reality behind the everyday events of life.

A simple way to help you remember is to create within your home or work environment sacred spaces. They don’t have to be large, elaborate, or expensive. You don’t have to shock your co-workers or add a room to your house. In fact many small spaces are often better than one large one. With several, wherever you are, you will be reminded.

Sacred spaces, however, should not be shrines to the things of this world you already love. Photos of loved ones, mementos of places you’ve been, pictures of things you’d like to acquire should be kept elsewhere in your environment.

Sacred spaces are to help you attune to the transcendent reality behind these cherished loves, experiences, and desires. “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you.” Here are three simple guidelines for setting up your sacred spaces.

1. Put your sacred spaces wherever you spend the most time. You want to see them when you enter and leave the house, wash the dishes, work at the computer, talk on the phone, or first wake up in the morning. Put them near, but not in the actual workflow. A wall or a window ledge, for example, is usually better than your nightstand, desk, or the kitchen counter, where everyday clutter can easily encroach on them.

2. Keep them simple. Your sacred spaces should have an immediate spiritual impact on you. Choose things of inherent power that have personal meaning. Sacred symbols like the cross, Star of David, or AUM, or items from Nature work well. Images of gurus or saints, especially if the consciousness in the eyes is clearly visible, are ideal. Make the Dalai Lama, Mother Theresa, Paramhansa Yogananda, or Jesus Christ your everyday companion. Word messages are also good, especially if you can get the meaning at a glance. “Hope.” “Faith.” “God Loves You.” Everyone needs to be reminded.

3. Keep it fresh. Don’t let dust, dead flowers, or burned out candles accumulate on your sacred spaces! If you are neglecting the sacred spaces in your outer environment it probably means you need to give more attention to your inner self as well. If what you have placed there no longer inspires you, then start over. Keep trying until you find those images that resonate with your soul and have an enduring capacity to lift your consciousness. Making a sacred space is a spiritual journey in itself.
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Asha Praver is a lecturer, teacher, counselor, Spiritual Co-Director of the Ananda Palo Alto Community, and author of Swami Kriyananda as We Have Known Him. Asha has been trained in yoga, meditation, and spiritual living by Swami Kriyananda, who was a direct disciple of Paramhansa Yogananda. Since 1969 Asha has been a disciple, a meditator, and an intentional community member. Classes on love and relationships by Asha Praver, can be found in the “Talks/Newsletters: CD purchase” section of www.anandapaloalto.org.

In each issue I’ll answer a question about how to handle a specific situation. Please send in questions about something that you’d like help with.

Family Nasties
My father’s side of the family is very critical, in a mean way, especially when they get together in a group. They seem to enjoy putting me down. I tell them I don’t like it but that often increases their jabs. Family gatherings have become very unpleasant. Since it’s my family do I need to tolerate more? How can I make them see how wrong they are and what can I say to stop them from hurting me? ~~~Ari C.

My answer: There’s probably nothing you can say that can change them if you’ve already explained yourself. It’s time to speak with actions! You may not be able to stop their words but they can’t make you listen if you CHOOSE not to.

Children are forced to stay and endure more. As an adult, you can walk out of the room if people are being mean. Being family doesn’t give the right to hurt you. Look at how many people abuse their children and spouses! What you’re describing is verbal abuse. Next time someone gets on you and it hurts, quietly say (getting angry doesn’t get the point across as well) “I’ve asked you to stop saying hurtful things but since you won’t, Ill leave the room when you do.” And leave. Limit visits with the main culprits. If asked why, be honest. “I’ve asked you to stop putting me down but you don’t, so I don’t want to be with people who are disrespectful and hurt me.” No one has the right to hurt you! And you have the right to protect yourself.  

In every issue I’ll include success stories from my readers. Please send in yours. 

It began with buying some paint
I always loved art but people laughed when I said I wanted to paint. When I got married, my main focus was having a good job to support my wife and I. She worked but eventually having our kids cut into her income. My priorities took a back seat to responsibility. But I didn’t feel passion for my work or much of anything. So I finally bought some paint supplies. I didn’t tell anyone. I just experimented in private. And I loved it. Now I’m taking a class once a week. My wife isn’t happy about it but I must do this for me. My teacher thinks I have a lot of potential and I’m enjoying it! Since it feels right, I’ll continue to follow this passion. ~~~Bradley G. 

I got organized!
I thought I was a hopeless slob. Your article on cleaning made me want to but I didn’t think I could change. But I did, one baby step at a time! I followed your guidelines. It was hard. But as I got rid of some stuff, it felt good. So I did a little more. I finally realized I was enjoying the process and did more. Why did I wait so long?! I look at each piece of my clutter and analyze whether I need it or not. I agree that it makes me feel more in control. This hasn’t just made my place cleaner, I feel more empowered from taking change of my environment. I enjoy being home more now! ~~~Emma W.
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Well, that’s all for this issue. If you like my articles, please subcribe to my blog, Lessons from a Recovering DoorMat. A BIG thank you to Tina Tessina, Dave Crenshaw and Asha Praver for allowing me to include their input. Please write and tell me things you’d like me to write about.

Keep your passions strong! 

With love from,

Daylle

http://www.daylle.com

© 2009 Project Self-Empowerment, LLC